Come to the dark side...
Let’s talk about something most people prefer not to look at. Their darker side.
Psychologist Carl Jung believed that every person carries traits they don’t like to acknowledge about themselves. These traits get pushed into the unconscious, forming what he called the Shadow. And the strange thing is this:
The more we deny the Shadow, the more influence it quietly gains over our behaviour. Jung captured the idea perfectly: “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”
Sit with that for a moment.
Because it flips the usual idea of enlightenment on its head.
Real growth isn’t about pretending to be pure light.
It’s about recognising the parts of ourselves we would rather not see.
Envy.
Anger.
Pride.
Manipulation.
Cruelty.
Vanity.
When we admit that these potentials exist inside us, something interesting happens.
We stop seeing them as monstrous traits that belong only to “other people”.
Instead, we recognise them as part of the human condition.
That realisation tends to produce two powerful effects:
• Humility – I’m not immune to these impulses.
• Understanding – I can see how someone might fall into them.
Notice something important here.
Understanding darkness doesn’t mean approving of it.
It simply means understanding its roots.
And this is the step most people skip.
Scroll through social media and you’ll see it everywhere.
Shadow projection.
The bitter and resentful woman posting about the dangers of the Manosphere.
The bitter and resentful man posting about the problems with Feminism.
Each side convinced the darkness exists entirely in the other.
But the moment you notice that reaction in yourself, something useful happens.
“Interesting… I have some bitterness and resentfulness there too.”
Good.
Now there’s something real to work with.
That’s Shadow work in action.
Once something becomes conscious, we can start handling it more constructively. We can even transform the energy of those emotions into something creative rather than destructive.
The ancient alchemists had a beautiful metaphor for this process.
Turning lead into gold.
Psychologically speaking, that means transforming raw emotional energy into insight, creativity, and growth.
So how do we explore the darker corners of our psychology?
One useful framework is known as “The Dark Triad”.
It refers to three personality traits studied in psychology:
• Machiavellianism – manipulation and strategic social behaviour
• Narcissism – self-focus, pride, and the desire for recognition
• Psychopathy – emotional detachment, impulsivity, and reduced empathy
Before we continue, a small warning.
People who insist they are purely virtuous, perfectly enlightened, and incapable of selfish motives often have the largest unexamined Shadows lurking in the basement.
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Dark Triad Self-Reflection
Rate each statement from 1 to 7
1 = Strongly disagree
4 = Neutral
7 = Strongly agree
Answer instinctively. If you cheat, both you and I will know.
—
Machiavellianism
1. It’s wise to keep track of information that you can use against people later.
2. Most people can be manipulated if you find the right leverage.
3. I tend to plan carefully before using others to achieve my goals.
4. Sometimes you have to step on people to get what you want.
5. People are generally too trusting.
6. I enjoy outsmarting others in strategic situations.
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Narcissism
7. I like to be the centre of attention.
8. I have a natural talent for influencing people.
9. I deserve more recognition than I usually receive.
10. I enjoy being admired by others.
11. I see myself as a natural leader.
12. I often feel that I am more capable than most people.
—
Psychopathy
13. I rarely feel guilty about things I’ve done.
14. I tend to act without worrying about consequences.
15. I enjoy risky situations.
16. I remain calm even when others are panicking.
17. I can be callous or insensitive when necessary.
18. Hurting someone’s feelings doesn’t bother me much.
—
**How to Score It**
Add the numbers for each group of six questions.
Range per trait:
6–14 → Low
15–24 → Moderate
25–42 → High
Most people fall squarely in the moderate range on at least one of them.
My own results were moderate on Narcissism, low-moderate on Machiavellianism, and low on Psychopathy.
Apparently it’s all about me, me, me.
The big “I AM”.
This is extremely common among creative people: inventors, writers, musicians, and artists. A certain amount of self-belief is often required to keep creating things that may not be appreciated immediately.
So if you discover you’re a little “Narcy,” don’t bash yourself too hard.
—
Shadow Tools
These traits are not automatically evil.
Think of them as raw psychological energy.
• Narcissism can mature into confidence and charisma.
• Machiavellianism can evolve into strategic thinking.
• Psychopathy can become calmness under pressure.
Problems arise only when the dial gets turned too far and empathy disappears from the system.
—
**Deeper Questions**
These questions reveal how those traits operate beneath the surface.
Machiavellianism – power and strategy
• When negotiating, do you think first about mutual benefit or leverage?
• Do you see society as cooperative networks or competitive arenas?
• Have you ever deliberately withheld information to influence an outcome?
• When someone is naive or trusting, do you feel protective, amused, or opportunistic?
Narcissism – identity and recognition
• When someone else receives praise for something you value, what emotion arises first?
• Do talented people energise you or threaten you?
• When you imagine your ideal future self, how much of it involves recognition versus simply doing meaningful work?
• If nobody ever knew you created something brilliant, would it still feel worthwhile?
Psychopathy – empathy and emotional regulation
• When someone you dislike suffers misfortune, what is your immediate reaction?
• How strongly do you feel guilt when you hurt someone unintentionally?
• In stressful or dangerous situations, do you feel panic, calm focus, or excitement?
• When watching emotional scenes in films, do you feel moved or mostly observe analytically?
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**The Extra Layer: Shadow Awareness**
Some powerful reflective questions include:
• What traits in others irritate you the most?
• When have you been tempted to manipulate someone?
• When have you secretly enjoyed being admired?
• When have you felt emotionally detached from someone else’s pain?
Psychological maturity begins when we can say:
“Yes… those impulses exist in me too.”
And interestingly, the awareness itself reduces the risk of being unconsciously driven by them.
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**A Curious Paradox**
People who can calmly examine their darker impulses often express them in far healthier ways.
Self-awareness acts like a master control switch.
Someone with strong Machiavellian tendencies might become a brilliant strategist or negotiator.
Someone with moderate Narcissism and empathy might become a charismatic creator or leader.
Someone with a touch of psychopathic calm might thrive in crisis situations where others panic.
The traits themselves are simply energy.
The real question is how consciously we use them.
“Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people.”